last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
