So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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