You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
did i walk over a car last night?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
