I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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