We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
