I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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