so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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