Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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