What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
