I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
