u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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