I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize
