think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
are you so shy because you have an std?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
