thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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