Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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