They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Panties = found
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