Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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