I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Panties = found
Randomize
