Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
