who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
