I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
