yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize