Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
