We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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