He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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