it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
You dont lie about slip and slides
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
i need some magic done to my vagina
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
