I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
