i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Woke up backwards on a recliner
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
