If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
