Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
