Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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