i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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