went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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