ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Randomize
