Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
