My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
