i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
