So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
