Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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