I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
There r osticjed everywhere
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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