You made me cry and you don't even care
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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