You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
