I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
