Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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