So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize