I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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