yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My vagina just recognized that song.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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