Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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