how do flat chested girls get laid?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
