I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i think my cat just said my name.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
