my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
