Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You ate ashes out of my bong
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
