I'm drive I can fine osifer
she looked like the before picture.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
