so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
